Thursday, May 8, 2014
Life is Hard.
I'm averaging 70-80 hours a week. I never see B. My patient who came in with abdominal pain reported child abuse and then I had to report it to CPS. Another patient had a very high ammonia overnight which we only found out about this morning, for various reasons. I've been exhausted for two months straight. I talked back to my very sweet attending on rounds today because I was so frustrated, and then he forgave me, which was really heaping coals of fire. I then sent him a letter of apology. I have three discharge summaries to dictate, it's nearly eleven, and I'll have to get up early. I've been reflecting on what I learned this year and I think I'm dumber and less knowledgeable than when I started. Nurses are grumpy and the hospital is full. Why is it that the less ill children seem to have the more demanding parents? It's a hospital, not the Hilton. The new interns are coming in July and I'll have to be a senior. I'm so tired, and everything that's been hard all along has become too hard all at once. Tears.
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Hang in there, you're doing good. It gets better. Love, R the M
ReplyDeleteWe're glad you are back writing your blog. I hope it helps on bad days like the one you had to able to jot down your difficulties. Yes life i hard some of the time but especially at the beginning of a long professional career in medicine.
ReplyDeleteSo the good days will seem so special after the difficult days. You'll do fine. You say you know less now than you did before -- that's definitely a sign of solid learning . As they say, the more we learn the less we know simply because as we learn we begin to appreciate how much more there is to learn and know...
As always, wish you well and may happy days be interspersed with the difficult days.... If it's any consolation, investment banking associates ( Iheard) are putting in 100 hour work weeks these days and probably for less worthy causes!
Lots of love,,,
p.s. I wish I could somehow help mitigate your difficulties because you deserve to be happier and successful more than anyone else I know for you have worked so hard for a decade to get to this point.. ...
ReplyDeleteI truly understand and sympathize... Love , good wishes and good luck!