What a Non-Catholic Can Learn from Observing Lent

A week ago was Ash Wednesday. I saw many people at work going about with a black ash cross on their forehead. Although I am not a Catholic by any stretch of the imagination, I have always respected Lent. I think it has a beautiful symbolism, in so far as my understanding goes. If you want to learn more generally about Lent, here's a good overview. The forty days of Lent (Sundays do not 'count' because Sundays are a celebration of salvation) mark a time of prayer, penance, and fasting (meaning a different diet, not total starvation) in preparation for the resurrection of Christ at Easter. Many people see the temporary sacrifices of Lent (chocolate, TV, internet) as another way to do penance, develop self-discipline, and remember the sacrifice of Christ -- for instance, this 25-item list put together by and for teenagers. Pretty impressive for high school students, right? One could argue it is artificial hardship, but I was thinking how valuable it could be for anyone, not just the Lent-observing Christian, to 'do without' for 44 days.

It seems this practice would bring us closer to those people who have less than we do, while reminding us that we have much more than we think. Especially during this Great Recession, I've been remembering the old saying, "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without." Not that I live a deprived life -- we live in comparative luxury on our modest income (ie my research stipend and his intern stipend). But of course it's good to be careful and frugal with money, and to be thankful for what you have -- no matter how much it is.

The 44 days of Lent are also valuable to the non-Catholic as a dedicated time to learn a new habit. It takes people anywhere from 18 to 91 days (depending on the individual, the behavior being learned, and which study you read) to really establish a habit, but 44 days is a pretty solid amount of time to devote to a new practice. Check out this Slate article on one (Indian-American) woman's experiment with becoming a morning person. You could apply this to anything, from nagging your children/spouse/employees all the way to kicking a dependence on caffeine, alcohol, or cigarettes. Speaking of which, isn't it neat that our medical school's first-year syllabus requires that we attend an AA meeting if we've never been to one, so that we understand what it is we are recommending to patients?

So my Catholic neighbors and colleagues have inspired me to re-examine my own life. What do I indulge in? What could I do without? What would make me a better person?  I think as I get older (I'm now 27 years and 4 months old), I need to decide what my priorities are going to be. As a high school student, especially, I had this strange idea that I could do everything. I could act in plays, sing in a choir, choreograph dances, ride horses competitively, study hard, do research, volunteer, etc etc. And I could do it all, but I was perpetually exhausted, never saw my family or friends, and I think I averaged about 4-5 hours of sleep a night my junior and senior years. Obviously (in hindsight), that was not sustainable. However, we'll see if I've still got it (residency is coming)!

Our little older Siamese (she's 13) had a health scare this weekend: she chewed a bump off her shoulder which turned out to be benign (a self-operating cat! Dr. Cat, M.D!). But the reminder that she, like all of us, is mortal made me want more focus in my life. I am currently deciding on a specialty (almost there; really close to deciding), starting a marriage, and trying to find enough time for family and close friends. Given that I am in the medical field, I don't know how much room there will be for anything else. Maybe kids, someday? Running? Riding? Pets? I don't think I'll be choreographing another can-can anytime soon.

At this point, I want to devote more time to my career and calling -- to becoming a really good doctor. It takes way more time than I had anticipated. But not more time than it deserves. Because it's worse to be a lousy doctor than to not be one at all. I'm in a research lab at the moment, but the MD is the goal. I need to start thinking about my future patients: which skills do I need to acquire in order to be the doctor they would want? So until Easter, I am going to read one article or chapter every day that will make my sub-internships easier during fourth year and beyond. I am also going to spend ten minutes each morning in a lovely meditation taught to me by a friend who was also a minister a few years ago. It went something like this:

The Friend Map:
Picture a map of the United States or the globe in your mind. Picture everyone whom you carry in your heart -- friends, loved ones, colleagues, frienemies, or any other group -- as pinpoints on that map. Now scroll across the continent, sending a prayer/good wish for each person. This cultivates gratitude for their presence and a loving demeanor, both of which will strengthen your ability to weather storms. And who knows? They may sense that someone is thinking of them/praying for them.

Yuletide in the Foggy City

Grateful for our tree

Christmas will always bring to mind the woman I saw in the Emergency Department last year. She was around forty, had epilepsy, and came in because she had "gone into convulsions" that morning. Her husband brought her in at 4 AM, explained that she had fallen out of bed and bitten her tongue, and then then had gone to work while she was treated. Although it was clearly painful to talk, she wanted to. She told me she had come to our hospital because when she went to the general hospital after a seizure, the staff assumed she was drunk or high because she was Black. "It hurt my pride when they treated me like that," she told me with a bleeding tongue, "I don't abuse my body with drugs or drinking." As she and I talked, it became clear that she had been off her seizure medications because she was saving up for Christmas. "I asked the kids if they wanted a tree or presents more, and of course they said presents. They've been good kids, so they'll get their toys. We'll just do without the tree this year, things have been rough with the money."

Stockings, candles in the grate, and apple pie for Santa

Stories like this always remind me to be thankful for how much we do have -- our health, each other, and more than enough money to live on. We had such a joyful and abundant Christmas, with both a tree and presents, and I only wish everyone could be as fortunate.

Card games around the table

Our traditions vary, but this year my whole family and B (B and I were at his parents' for Thanksgiving and my parents' for Christmas) played a board game around the dining table, Apples to Apples. My father won, which makes this the second year in a row he had won the Christmas game! Well done, Dad. We also spent Christmas Eve dinner together, and my dad had Tandoori chicken, palak paneer, and other delicious food for us to eat. Our Christmas Day brunch was tasty too (but then, I made it and I only made food I like!): whole wheat flapjacks (some with chocolate chips), chicken and beef sausage, garlic and cheddar home fries, and eggs with toast. We were all full on Christmas morning, although I did sneak back for an extra flapjack. We opened presents together in the living room, and it was just a lovely feeling to be together, with B there for the first time.

A thoroughly spoiled Samantha

Even Samantha, my American Girl doll from back when it was still The Pleasant Company and American Girl had not been sold to Mattel, had a new fancy purse and a plush Christmas mouse. After we had all opened our presents, we bundled up and went out to see the new Tin Tin. We used to read the Tin Tin comic books in India, so it was a fun treat. The movie was well made and the visual effects were beautiful. It was a very simple story, and family friendly. There was a camel that was so touchably fluffy with such long eyelashes that I wanted to take it home.

Family Movie

 

Laughter around the food table

We had a gathering in our home the night before New Year's Eve. We were joined by old family friends whom we've known for years. It was so nice to see them all again amid laughter and stories of 2011. We had food and friendship as we bid the old year good-bye. I'm glad to welcome 2012. I hope it will bring us luck. If you look in the middle of the food table behind the grapes, you will see a square gingerbread on a square plate. Here is my Pumpkin Gingerbread Recipe to keep you warm in the chill -- be careful not to over-bake, it is better moist and also better on the 3rd day.

Pumpkin Gingerbread

Pre-heat oven to 350. Take out two large mixing bowls. Into each, add the following:

Bowl 1:

2 cups brown sugar
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup olive oil
4 eggs
2/3 cup water
1 can pumpkin
1 tbs powdered ginger
1 tbs cinnamon
1/2 tsp cloves
1 tsp pumpkin or allspice
Pinch nutmeg

Bowl 2:

1 cup white flour
2.5 cups whole wheat flour
1/2-1 tsp baking soda (depends on your baking conditions)
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt

Mix each bowl separately and well. Fold dry ingredients into wet.
Mix just until evenly blended. Pour into 10x10 in pan or two 9" loaf pans.
Bake 1 hr at 350. Remove to cooling rack when a knife comes out clean. Serve on the 2nd or 3rd day, warmed, with ice cream or fruit.

There were so many parties and potlucks around the holidays, including for work. I am currently trying to decide between Neurology and Pediatrics for a career (potentially Child Neurology). The rules for how to apply to which are quite convoluted. I don't know what will happen, but I hope that it all somehow works out... I will let you know! I need to meet with advisors, write an appropriate resume, and try to get in touch with my former classmates (many of whom are graduating this year, meaning that they are applying to the residency Match right now). Isn't it strange that a computer algorithm determines your post-MD placement? It's a bit scary, but then everything worth doing is. I'll post about what happens.

Office potluck -- everyone digging in

There are so many projects I want to work on all at once. I don't know which to do first. There is the lab work, other work-related projects, career planning, household stuff, wedding wrap-up. It's all wonderful, though, in a sense. My mother was right: it is fun to be a grown-up.

Wet Malamute

We have finally gotten the rain we will need to prevent another big summer drought. As I write this, though, I have a grown-up dilemma: the next-door neighbor's dogs are locked out on their patio, it's pouring, and the younger of the two is chewing up and ripping apart their wooden window blinds trying to get into the house through the window. The neighbors have gone out, or else they aren't answering the doorbell. They've just moved here and I don't have their number. Should I leave them a note? I've told the dog, "No!" but that is all I can do without breaking into their yard (not a good idea with strange dogs). Poor, wet, angry doggies.

Happy Halloween!

It's absolutely my favorite holiday of the year, so even though I am studying, I could not help but post a short post in celebration. We put out a jack o'lantern that I painted (okay, with a permanent pen) instead of carved because we plan to (insert evil laugh) eat him.

We had about a dozen trick-or-treaters, with the most popular female costumes being cats and Minnie Mouse, and the most popular male costumes being monsters (all black with a scary mask). Best female costume: Harry Potter! Best male costume: A soldier with a purple heart.

Best group costume: Three Muni trains! If you've ever ridden the Muni in San Francisco, you will understand why it is appropriately scary. They were beautifully detailed, with working headlights, perfect logos, and the correct route stuck on their fronts. They even had advertisements on the sides! Here they are getting derailed...

... and eating their lunches. Trains need fuel. Ironically, these MUNIs chose Subway for lunch.

It was a beautiful Halloween night as the sun set over the sea...

 And here is the Haunted Wood on my way home from work:

Hope you had a Happy Halloween!